The Magic Potion for Emotional Intelligence in Kids 🪄
“Life is full of situations that can tear us down. What really matters is how we respond to and channel our energy going forward.”
Helping our kids with their emotions has to be one of the HARDEST parts of parenting. It’s also one of the best opportunity we have to make sure they grow up with the mental tools they need to cope with everythingggg life throws at them! Having good emotional intelligence, known as ‘EQ’, is like having a magical power that makes rainy days feel a little less down! ☔
Decoding the Magic: What Exactly is EQ?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify, understand, and manage our emotions. So things that trigger us don’t end up in catastrophe. ✋ It has 2 levels that we can teach our little ones:
Self-awareness and self-management: This is all about kids recognising and understanding their OWN emotions, and then using that knowledge to manage them. It's like they're becoming their own little emotional detectives, sussing out the clues to how they feel! 🔎
Social awareness and relationship management: This part is all about children understanding OTHERS’ emotions and creating healthy relationships. Think of it as giving your child a compass to navigate the social seas! 🧭🌊
Why eq is particularly Important for Kids
Like every good magic potion, EQ has LOADS of benefits for kids:
Positive self-image 😍 as they are more likely to embrace ‘flaws’
Lowered risk of depression and anxiety 🙃
Stronger friendships through empathy 💞
Better stress management 😅
More thoughtful decision-making 💭
Improved focus & academic performance 📚
EQ helps kids deal with anything where emotions might get in their way - and that’s everything!
Crafting the magic Potion: How to Nurture EQ in Your Child
The recipe for this magic potion is simpler than you might think! 🧑🍳 Here are some ingredients to include:
1. lead by Example: You’re Their Superhero! 🦸
This is one of the most important things we can do as parents: Kids learn by watching. So we have to show them how to express emotions in a healthy way. 🙌 When you're stuck in traffic, say, "I'm feeling frustrated because we're running late, but I'll put on that playlist I really love to calm down!" This shows them that it's okay to feel frustrated – there are healthy ways to manage it! I know this is NOT easy, and it’s okay if we can’t do it sometimes. What’s important is that we don’t direct our negative emotions at our kids and that we apologize and explain when we don’t manage to handle things the way we would have liked to! Never a failure, always a lesson 😉
2. Take a Walk in Their Shoes: Flex Your Empathy! 💗
Show your child you understand their feelings. If they're disappointed because it's raining on zoo day, say, "I know you're really disappointed because you were looking forward to seeing the giraffes. It's tough when things don't go as planned." When we validates their feelings, it shows them it's okay to feel sad. 🥲 What’s more, they will also feel heard. This means they’ll be more likely to share their feelings again without fear of judgement, both with themselves and with others. #allemotionsarevalid
3. Name That Emotion: The Labelling Trick! ☝️
Help your child identify and label their feelings. If they're upset because their tower of blocks fell over, you can say, "It looks like you're feeling frustrated that your tower fell down." Putting a name to emotions helps children recognize and understand them! By noticing when I’m experiencing difficult feelings and trying to get to the bottom of why, it helps us see when we’re accidentally letting those things affect how we go about the rest of our lives, including how we treat others. You can even suggest they take a little extra time to themselves to destress right now and sit with that feeling, whatever it may be.
This doesn’t just go for so-called ‘negative’ emotions by the way, it goes for any feeling. Pointing out when our child is feeling happy or grateful also heightens their self-awareness, and our own ability to navigate that relationship. A skill they can take from you and use with others too!
4. Sailing the Emotional Seas: Problem-Solving Skills! 🚣
Life is full of situations that can tear us down. What really matters is how we respond to these situations and channel our energy going forward. Guiding our kids to develop strategies to manage their feelings and solve problems is fundamental. If they're upset about a friend not sharing, discuss ways they can navigate the situation, like asking politely, suggesting a trade or trying to understand how they might feel. This helps build their emotional toolkit & realize that they can choose behaviours that can help their situation over behaviours that might make them worse off.
Things that Work Against the Magic of EQ
In this magical journey, beware of a few traps 🙀:
Dismissing Their Feelings: Avoid minimizing their emotions with comments like "big boys don't cry." This can make them feel that their feelings are invalid or wrong. Imagine how you’d feel if someone told you that while you were feeling upset! 😓 Even if you’re not sure where their feeling is going, let them express themselves as fully as can be before you respond yourself. Time is your friend when it comes to responding well.
Masking Your Emotions: Pretending everything's fine when you're clearly upset can send confusing signals. It's okay to let them see you're human too! 🙌 That doesn’t mean that you need to share every aspect of your life with them - just not pretend how you’re feeling. Children are more receptive than we tend to think and are sensing our emotional state anyway. ‘To protect them,’ is no excuse. It just means they are more likely to mimic you and lie about their emotions in future.
Jumping to the Rescue: While it's hard to see your child upset, let them experience their feelings and navigate them. It's a vital part of their emotional education. If your child is super worked up, sometimes it’s best to just give them a little space to feel angry/sad/frustrated and remind them you’ll be right there waiting for them when they’re ready to talk about it. 🥰
And there you have it, a quick guide to unlocking the magic of Emotional Intelligence! Remember, each child is unique and will learn these skills at their own pace. Stay patient, stay supportive, and watch as your child grows and learns EQ. Becoming more emmotionally intelligent is important for all of us - whether we’re adults or kids. It takes continuous work, especially if we never had these skills cultivated in us as kids ourselves. But you're here reading this because you care and you’re doing an amazing job, KEEP GOING! You got this 💫💖
